Breaking
by crystaltears24
Summary: Tag to 3x22 "The Bitter End". A missing scene in which Jamie breaks down after the loss of a close friend. Don't read if you haven't seen the season three two-part finale.


**Hello! This is my first Blue Bloods story, as I'm sure you... can probably... tell by looking at my profile... Anyway, I felt a lot was missing from the episode "The Bitter End" and even the season finale. So I wrote this. I'm not going to say much about this story in the A/N here because maybe you haven't seen the season three finale, and if you haven't... _turn back now._ Major spoilers. **

**Please be aware that I have very, very limited knowledge of how law enforcement works (not that I really had to worry about it for this story, but still).**

 **Forgive me for any grammatical or spelling errors, and if there is another story in the Blue Bloods archive similar to this, I apologize. This story was my own idea, but sometimes people do think alike. So, if there is another story like this, let me know and I'll see what I can do.**

 **I do not own Blue Bloods or the characters. They all belong to their rightful owners. This is just a little thing I wrote on what should've been included in the episode (or something like this).**

 _Centered Italics_ : **Jamie and Vinny's last (oops; you _were_ warned) conversation.**

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 **Update (8-27-17): DanishGirl brought to my attention that the ending and Danny's character felt a little rushed. That wasn't my intention, and it was a poor representation of Danny. I hope I fixed that error with this update (sorry that it's taken two years to do so). I still didn't give Danny a huge part, but I hope that I gave more dimension and color to his character and relationship with Jamie than before.**

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When someone dies, a part of the people they

left behind die too.

-Unknown

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 _Vinny! Vinny!_

Jamie leaned on the sink in the hospital's restroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror but not seeing it.

 _10-13! 10-13! Officer's been shot!_

His hands gripped the sides of the sink until his knuckles turned white and the joints ached. He focused on himself in the mirror. Hollow eyes stared back at him, tired and shadowed. His face was pale and waxy. He'd stripped down to his undershirt, and he still wore the mandatory pants of his police uniform. He was shivering, but he doubted it was from the cold.

 _Vinny, get up. Get up, man! C'mon, get up!_

His arms felt like they still held his partner's limp body as he dragged him to safety. And—and his hands tingled as if he could still feel the warm blood spilling out under his palms and seeping between his fingers.

 _Hey—hey, Vinny. Alrigh-alright. You're going to be okay._

His hands! Jamie lifted his hands, palms up. The scarlet that stained his skin was like a punch in the gut, and he stared at the dried blood as if it had personally offended him, his expression sliding into disgust seconds later.

 _Hey, look at me—hey, look at me, man. Alright?_

Jamie couldn't turn the water on fast enough, his hands fumbling on the valves.

 _Hey, hey—don't go anywhere, okay?_

He stuck his hands under the water, scrubbing slowly at first, then furiously when it didn't wash off.

 _Stay right here with me, okay? Fight!_

Jamie gave a cry of frustration when the red substance stubbornly refused to come off, hot tears leaking from his eyes. Off! He—he wanted it—it—

 _Hey, Vinny—hey, stop smiling!_

The water spilling into the sink's drain finally ran red, blood mixing with water in rivulets.

 _Hey! Look at me, man!_

But it wasn't enough. His hands were still tainted red, but it might as well have been as bright as neon, the scarlet color seared into his mind.

A sob escaped his lips, and he finally lost control over the emotions churning inside his chest, collapsing to his knees in front of the sink. He rested his forehead against the back of his trembling hand, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

 _It's okay, it's okay—it's okay, Reagan._

His partner's voice had been full of that blasted acceptance, and anger at Vinny warred with the pain Jamie felt in his heart. Why didn't his partner—his _friend_ —fight harder?

Jamie smiled bitterly. Here he was, breaking down in the bathroom and blaming his friend for dying.

 _I told you—_

The smile slipped off his face and his hands tightened into fists.

 _I told you this is the end._

 _What?_

He snorted at his dumb response. His partner was dying before his eyes, and he could only ask, "What?"

Then Jamie sobbed again, because his friend was the brave one. He had smiled in the face of death—and what had Jamie done? He had tried to stop him, because he had been scared. He knew he was losing his friend, but he didn't want to let go, and, in his selfishness, he had tried to deny Vinny his one last act of bravery.

He would never forget the moment he watched the light leave Vinny's eyes, the moment his friend's chest stilled.

The tears still fell as Jamie remembered their tours together—Vinny's womanizer attempts, his determination, his take-action-first-ask-questions-later attitude. Vinny had become another brother to him, and now it felt like he was losing Joe all over again.

Arms suddenly wrapped around his chest from behind, carefully lifting him to his feet.

"C'mon, kid. I got ya."

Jamie relaxed at Danny's voice, relief flooding through him as he turned and embraced his older brother tightly. He felt like a little kid again, scared and hurting and seeking the security and solidity of his big brother.

Danny held him close, pressing a hand to the short blond strands of hair. It had been a long time—too long—since he'd last been there, truly _been there_ , for his little brother.

"Look, I know how you're feeling and what you're thinking, kid," Danny said softly. "Losing a partner is like losing a family member. I know it hurts." He pushed Jamie away to look his brother in the eyes. "You _will_ get through this, Jamie. You're strong enough, and you'll have your family behind you."

 _It's the end._

Jamie wanted to argue, to do something, but he was so freaking _exhausted_. He simply nodded, rubbing his face as he released a shaky sigh, discreetly wiping away his tears.

Danny smiled and pulled his baby brother close in a one-armed hug, leading him out of the bathroom. "You got me, kiddo. You'll be okay. It'll be okay."

 _It's okay._

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 **The End.**


End file.
